5 Mistakes People Make When Divorcing With Kids

Posted on Aug 19 2019 - 1:20pm by Ella

Although children are resilient, divorce can affect them on a profound level. If parents aren’t careful, it can leave them feeling emotionally scarred forever.  

However, by taking the right precautions and avoiding letting the divorce get too nasty, children usually adapt to the changes within a few years.  

So, what’s the key to not letting divorce get too nasty and damaging for the children? Don’t let the kids fall into the middle of the conflict of fighting over custody or other divorce details. This isn’t your children’s battle to fight. 

If you want to ensure that your children are the least affected as possible, then make sure that you avoid these mistakes. 

Exposing The Kids To Arguing

Your kids shouldn’t have to watch the fighting. When kids see their own parents fighting, it can cause issues in their future relationships. Witnessing arguments will cause them to feel anxious and potentially fearful.

If you start to feel an argument coming on in front of the kids, try to be the bigger person and walk away. Even though you may feel your emotions boiling inside of you, it’s essential to take control. Don’t let your feelings get the best of you!

Failing To Provide Stability For The Kids

Your kids need to feel a sense of stability even during a tumultuous time like divorce. Try to maintain a regular schedule as much as you can to give the kids a sense of regularity.  

It may be challenging to keep up with traditions and routines during an emotional time like divorce; however, it’s vital for the well-being of the kids.

Spoiling The Kids

You may carry a lot of guilt about getting divorced and want to make it up to your children. As a result, many parents may try to compensate by spoiling their children. It’s not uncommon to give in to tantrums or buy gifts out of guilt.

However, even though you may feel like you’re doing the right thing, you’ll pay the price later on. Your kids will not respect your boundaries and will expect treats when they’re upset.

Showing your children they are loved and supported during a divorce doesn’t mean you have to spoil them.

Grilling The Kids About The Other Parent

Many parents make the error of grilling the kids about the other parent’s house. They may ask details about the other parent’s life and push for information.

Unfortunately, this is incredibly damaging for the kids. Not only will they feel like they’re in the middle, but it can cause them to feel angry with you. 

Dating Too Quickly
Even though you may be anxious to meet someone new, it’s important not to rush into anything too soon. Take your time and get to know a person before introducing them to your kids too soon.